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Why Martenson Family of Funeral Homes Offers Bus Day Trips with Fred’s Friends

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 14:56:37 GMT

Grief has a way of reshaping life.

Grief has a way of reshaping life. It can make familiar routines feel unfamiliar and turn once‑joyful moments into reminders of what’s missing. At Martenson Family of Funeral Homes, we understand that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in connection—with others, with new experiences, and with gentle reminders that joy is still possible. That’s why we partner with Fred’s Friends and Bianco Tours to offer bus day trips designed specifically for people who are grieving.

These outings aren’t simply excursions; they’re opportunities to breathe again. When someone experiences loss, the world can feel smaller. Social circles shift, daily rhythms change, and it’s easy to feel alone even when surrounded by others. Our day trips create a safe, welcoming space where people can meet others who truly understand what they’re going through. There’s comfort in being with people who “get it” without needing explanations.

But these trips are about more than shared grief—they’re about shared hope. Each outing gives participants something to look forward to, a reason to get out of the house, and a chance to rediscover enjoyment without guilt. Whether it’s exploring a new town, visiting a museum, or simply laughing over lunch, these experiences help build new memories that coexist with the old ones. They remind people that healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means allowing life to expand again.

Community is at the heart of everything we do. Over the years, we’ve seen friendships form on these buses—friendships that continue long after the trip ends. We’ve watched people who arrived quiet and unsure leave with lighter hearts and new connections. That sense of belonging is powerful. It helps people move forward, one small step at a time.

Grief may be a universal experience, but no one should have to navigate it alone. Through our partnership with Fred’s Friends, Martenson Family of Funeral Homes is committed to offering support that extends far beyond the funeral service. These day trips are one way we help individuals find community, rediscover joy, and create new moments worth holding onto.

Because even in the hardest seasons, there can still be something to look forward to—and we’re honored to help make that possible. Check out all the options this year. Upcoming Events | The Martenson Family of Funeral Homes, INC.

Understanding Funeral Service Options: Burial, Cremation, and Beyond

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 14:37:49 GMT

For your consideration

Planning a funeral—whether for a loved one or as part of your own advance arrangements—can feel overwhelming. Today’s families have more choices than ever before, and understanding those options can make the process more meaningful and less stressful. Each path offers unique ways to honor a life, reflect personal values, and create a lasting tribute.

## **Traditional Burial: Honoring Legacy Through Ritual**

Burial remains a deeply meaningful choice for many families. It often includes a visitation, funeral service, and graveside ceremony, providing structured moments for loved ones to gather, share stories, and find comfort. Burial allows for a permanent place of remembrance, which many find helpful in their grief journey. Families can personalize every aspect—from casket selection to music, readings, and memorial displays—ensuring the service reflects the individual’s life and legacy.

## **Cremation: Flexible, Personal, and Increasingly Popular**

Cremation has grown significantly in popularity due to its flexibility and wide range of memorialization options. Some families choose a traditional service before cremation, while others prefer a memorial gathering afterward. Cremated remains can be placed in an urn, buried, scattered in a meaningful location (where permitted), or transformed into keepsakes such as jewelry or artwork. This versatility allows families to create a tribute that feels personal and unique.

## **Green and Eco‑Friendly Options: A Return to Simplicity**

For those who value sustainability, green burial offers a natural alternative. This approach minimizes environmental impact by using biodegradable materials and avoiding embalming chemicals. Green cemeteries preserve natural landscapes, creating peaceful, woodland-like settings. Families who choose this option often appreciate its simplicity and its harmony with nature.

## **Celebrations of Life: A Modern, Uplifting Approach**

Beyond traditional services, many families are embracing celebrations of life—gatherings focused on joy, storytelling, and honoring the personality of the person who has passed. These events can be held at a funeral home, a favorite venue, or even outdoors. From photo displays and memory tables to themed décor or special music, celebrations of life offer endless opportunities for personalization.

## **Choosing What Feels Right**

Every family is different, and there is no “one-size-fits-all” approach to honoring a life. Whether you prefer the familiarity of a traditional burial, the flexibility of cremation, the simplicity of green burial, or the uplifting tone of a celebration of life, the most important thing is choosing what feels meaningful and comforting.

Ideas on what to say to someone who is grieving

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 04:00:00 GMT

At times we all struggle with what to say when a loved one, a friend or acquaintance has just lost someone to death. We find we often struggle with the right words to say, often times we over think what we should say and we may decide to say nothing at all. At times just being present to the person can make a huge difference or one may say, “I don’t know what to say, but I am here for you.”

There was one such man in many of our lives who seemed to know just what to say for just about every situation in life. That man was Fred Rogers or Mister Rogers as many of us growing up knew him. He had a way of looking at life and death in a practical way, Fred Rogers taught us it was okay to talk about our feelings and how to make the world we live in a better place. This isn’t so much an article about Mr. Rogers as is it about how we see ourselves and what to say to someone who has had a loss due to death.

Often, we are so fearful that we may say the wrong words that we don’t say anything at all. We all need to say something, yet we don’t say anything because we know it will initiate a response from the grieving person. So, what do you do? The answer is not as complex as one may think it is. We need to take a moment to just listen to what the person is saying and be there for them. Often grieving people just need a listening ear to hear what they have to say. An important factor is to actively listen to what they are saying. One should not share their own experiences of death and loss; it is the bereaved who needs to share.

Their loss is significant to the grieving person, don’t diminish their loss by talking about a loss of a pet or a family member. Avoid stereotypes or cliches. A grieving person does not want to hear things like “They are in a better place.”, At least they are not suffering anymore.”, or “You have a special angel in Heaven. The reality is the better place for a person is to be here. The bereaved realizes their loved one is gone but it will take time for them to acknowledge the loss. It is more comforting to a grieving person to say some of the following; “Your mother/father was a wonderful person.”, My condolences or I am sorry for your loss”.

There are times when no words are necessary being present and just sitting near the bereaved can be comforting. There can be a calming in silence, a time of just being, observing the non-verbal ques. Much can be learned from just sitting quietly and being with the one who is grieving.

“All of us, at some time or other, need help. Whether we’re giving or receiving help, each one of us has something valuable to bring to this world. That’s one of the things that connects us as neighbors—in our own way, each one of us is a giver and a receiver.” – Mr. Rogers

How to support a friend who is grieving

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 15:49:09 GMT

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and when someone we care about is hurting, it’s natural to want to help

Supporting a grieving friend doesn’t require perfect words — it requires presence, empathy, and patience.

�� What to Say

Start with sincerity. Simple phrases like “I’m so sorry for your loss,” or “I’m here for you” can mean the world. Avoid trying to fix their pain or offer silver linings — grief isn’t a problem to solve. Instead, acknowledge their feelings: “I can’t imagine how hard this must be,” or “It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling.”

If you knew the person who passed, share a memory. “I’ll never forget how your dad made everyone laugh at the picnic — he was such a light.” These stories can bring comfort and remind your friend that their loved one’s life mattered.

�� What to Do

Actions often speak louder than words. Offer specific help: “Can I bring dinner on Thursday?” or “I’ll take care of the lawn this weekend.” Grieving people are often overwhelmed, and concrete support is more helpful than vague offers like “Let me know if you need anything.”

Be present. Sit with them in silence. Go for a walk. Watch a movie together. Your quiet companionship can be more healing than any advice. Check in regularly — not just in the first week, but in the months that follow. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and your continued support matters.

Encourage self-care gently. Suggest a walk, a meal, or a visit to a support group if they’re open to it. But don’t push — let them lead.

�� What to Avoid

Avoid clichés like “They’re in a better place,” or “Everything happens for a reason.” These phrases, though well-intentioned, can feel dismissive. Don’t compare their grief to your own losses — each experience is unique.

Resist the urge to rush their healing. Statements like “You should be feeling better by now” or “It’s time to move on” can be deeply hurtful. Grief has no expiration date.

Also, avoid disappearing. Many people withdraw because they don’t know what to say. But silence can feel like abandonment. Even a short message — “Thinking of you today” — can make a difference.

�� Final Thoughts

Supporting a grieving friend is about showing up, listening, and honoring their pain. You don’t need to have all the answers. Just be there. Your presence, your kindness, and your willingness to walk beside them — even in silence — are the greatest gifts you can offer.

If you or someone you know is navigating grief, our funeral home offers resources, support groups, and compassionate guidance. You’re not alone — and neither is your friend.

Choosing a trusted pet cremation expert

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 12:30:07 GMT

Furry friends are family

Choosing a trusted pet cremation expert is deeply important—not just for peace of mind, but to ensure your beloved companion is treated with the dignity they deserve.

Here's why it matters:

�� Emotional Integrity & Respect

Honoring your pet’s memory : A reputable provider ensures your pet is cremated respectfully and individually, preserving the emotional significance of the process.
Avoiding emotional exploitation : Sadly, some providers may take advantage of grieving pet owners with misleading practices or hidden fees.

�� Transparency & Trust

Clear procedures : Trusted experts explain the cremation process in detail, offer facility tours, and provide documentation like a certificate of cremation.
Proper identification : Ensures you receive only your pet’s ashes, avoiding mix-ups that can occur with less scrupulous providers.

✅ Professional Standards

Licensing and certification : Legitimate providers are licensed, insured, and follow ethical standards for handling remains.
Compassionate care : They treat your pet as family, not just another transaction, and often offer personalized memorial options.

�� Environmental & Ethical Choices

Eco-friendly options : Some trusted providers offer alternatives like aquamation, which is gentler on the environment.

If you're navigating this decision, it’s worth visiting the facility, reading reviews, and asking questions. You’re not just choosing a service—you’re choosing how your pet’s story is honored. Here are what families say about Martenson Family Pet Services. https://share.google/ZCSZlyegu2dR7cl6a

Funeral Service Checklist: A Compassionate Guide for Families

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 16:56:55 GMT

Planning is not easy....

In the midst of grief, even simple decisions can feel overwhelming. That’s why having a clear, step-by-step checklist can be a lifeline—helping families stay organized, honor their loved one’s wishes, and focus on healing.

Whether you're pre-planning your own arrangements or organizing a service for someone dear, this guide walks you through the essential steps to ensure nothing is missed.

�� Step 1: Immediate Actions After Death

Notify close family and friends to share the news and begin support.
Contact a funeral home or cremation provider to transfer the body into care.
Secure a legal pronouncement of death from a medical professional.
Protect personal belongings and property if needed.

These first steps are often the most emotionally charged. Lean on others for help and don’t rush decisions.

�� Step 2: Gather Important Documents

Will or pre-arranged funeral plan
Birth and marriage certificates
Insurance policies
Social Security number
Military discharge papers (if applicable)

These documents help determine benefits, inform legal decisions, and guide the service planning.

⚰️ Step 3: Choose the Type of Service

Burial or cremation
Traditional funeral, memorial, or celebration of life
Religious or secular ceremony
Viewing or visitation
Virtual or livestream options

Think about what would best reflect your loved one’s life and values. Personal touches matter.

�� Step 4: Plan the Service Details

Select a funeral home, cemetery, or crematory
Choose a date and time
Decide on an officiant or clergy
Prepare music, readings, and rituals
Write a eulogy or tribute
Order flowers or decorations

This is where the service becomes a meaningful tribute. Consider involving family and friends in the planning.

�� Step 5: Notify Others & Coordinate Logistics

Publish an obituary
Inform extended family, friends, and community
Arrange transportation for guests
Plan a reception or gathering
Set up a memory table or photo display

Sharing the news and organizing logistics helps others participate in honoring your loved one.

�� Step 6: Handle Practical Affairs

Request multiple copies of the death certificate
Notify banks, insurance companies, and government agencies
Close or transfer digital/social media accounts
Manage estate matters with legal support if needed

These tasks can be time-consuming, so consider enlisting help or hiring a professional.

�� Step 7: After the Funeral

Send thank-you notes to those who supported you
Consider grief counseling or support groups
Decide on memorial keepsakes or ashes placement

Healing doesn’t end with the service. Give yourself permission to grieve and seek support.

Pet Cremation-Communal or Individual?

Tue, 27 May 2025 14:00:31 GMT

What is the difference between individual and communal pet cremation?

Understanding the Differences Between Communal and Individual Cremation

When it comes to honoring the memory of a beloved pet, cremation is a widely chosen option. However, deciding between communal and individual cremation can be a significant decision, shaped by emotional, practical, and financial factors. This article outlines the key differences between these two options to help you make an informed choice.

What Is Communal Cremation?

Communal cremation involves cremating multiple pets together in the same chamber. In this process, the ashes of all pets are mixed, making it impossible to return individual remains to their respective owners. This option is often selected by pet owners who do not wish to keep their pet’s ashes or are seeking a more economical solution.

The ashes from communal cremations are typically scattered or buried in a shared location, such as a pet cemetery or memorial garden. This approach can provide comfort to some, knowing their pet rests in a peaceful, collective space. However, it may not be suitable for those who prefer a personal keepsake to remember their pet.

What Is Individual Cremation?

Individual cremation ensures that a pet is cremated alone or in a partitioned area, keeping their ashes separate from others. This option is ideal for pet owners who wish to retain their pet’s ashes as a personal memento. These ashes can be stored in an urn, incorporated into keepsake jewelry, or used in other meaningful ways.

This process often allows for a more personalized experience. Some cremation services offer the opportunity to witness the procedure or hold a small ceremony, providing closure for grieving families. While individual cremation is generally more expensive than communal cremation, it offers the chance to create a lasting tribute to a cherished companion.

Key Differences

Ashes Return : Communal cremation does not allow for the return of ashes, whereas individual cremation ensures the ashes are returned to the owner.
Cost : Communal cremation is typically more affordable, making it a practical choice for those on a budget. Individual cremation, though more costly, provides a personalized experience.
Emotional Value : Individual cremation offers a tangible keepsake, which can be comforting for those who wish to keep their pet close. Communal cremation, while less personal, may appeal to those who find solace in the idea of shared rest.

Choosing the Right Option

The choice between communal and individual cremation is deeply personal and depends on your emotional needs, preferences, and financial considerations. Both options provide a respectful way to honor your pet’s life and memory. Reflect on what feels most meaningful to you and your family as you navigate this decision.

Regardless of the option you choose, the love and bond you shared with your pet will remain a cherished part of your life.

Creating Personalized Funeral Services

Wed, 04 Dec 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Personalized Merchandise : Offering personalized merchandise can provide attendees with keepsakes that remind them of their loved one. Custom printed memorial bookmarks, candles, or photo books featuring cherished moments can serve as lasting mementos. You could also consider unique items like custom jewelry containing a portion of the deceased's ashes or engraved with their handwriting.

Interactive Memory Stations : Setting up stations where attendees can share their favorite memories or write messages can foster a sense of community and shared remembrance. You could provide a memory tree where guests can hang notes or photos, or a digital photo booth to capture heartfelt moments and messages during the service.

Unique Tributes : Consider incorporating elements that reflect the individual’s hobbies or achievements. For an avid gardener, you might hand out packets of their favorite seeds or plant a memorial tree. For a sports enthusiast, displaying memorabilia and encouraging guests to wear team colors can create a sense of unity and celebration.

Digital Tributes : Embracing technology can add a modern touch to traditional services. Live streaming the service allows distant friends and family to participate. Creating a tribute website or social media page where people can share stories, photos, and condolences helps keep the memory alive long after the service.

By thoughtfully incorporating these creative elements, you can craft a funeral service that truly honors the life and legacy of your loved one, providing solace and connection for all who attend.

My Life Journey Brings Me Joy

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Life Is a Journey By Alvin Fine Birth is a beginning and death a destination; But life is a journey. A going, a growing from stage to stage: From childhood to maturity and youth to old age. From innocence to awareness and ignorance to knowing; From foolishness to discretion and then perhaps, to wisdom. From weakness to strength or strength to weakness and often back again. From health to sickness and back we pray, to health again. From offense to forgiveness, from loneliness to love, From joy to gratitude, from pain to compassion. From grief to understanding, from fear to faith; From defeat to defeat to defeat, until, looking backward or ahead: We see that victory lies not at some high place along the way, But in having made the journey, stage by stage, a sacred pilgrimage. Birth is a beginning and death a destination; But life is a journey, a sacred pilgrimage, Made stage by stage...To life everlasting. Additional Thoughts... Death, Dying, Dead…words we try not to use as they are so final, yet they are the reality of a life lived. It is exactly what we need to do as we journey live our lives to the fullest possible. Death is the final frontier, yet we try so hard to hide from it as if it will never come. Yet it is in our daily lives. A seed from a flower enters the earth, it sits beneath the surface of the soil, patiently waiting. Yet does the seed know it is alive? It knows exactly what to do, it takes in nutrients from the earth, slowly but surely establishing roots. As the roots grow deeper into the earth a stem and leaves push their way above. The tender leaves feel the warmth of the sun pushing further. The rain comes and nurtures the tiny seedling, it drinks in the cool water and continues to grow. The sun, the rain continues to grow reaching higher as if forms leaves, and buds that continue into beautiful flowers. The flowers feed the bees; mankind notices its beauty for a fleeting moment in a face paced world. The flower continues to smile and knows one day its life will be over, it knows it has fulfilled its purpose. The sunny days grow shorter, the nights are cooler the bees visit less often. The flowers begin to fade, and seed pods begin to form. The once beautiful plant looks a bit tired; its leaves have begun to brown and fall. Yet it continues to smile knowing it still has purpose its seeds will be the next generation.

Benefits of Funeral Pre planning

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Show you care by Pre Planning Funeral pre planning is a thoughtful and compassionate act that can significantly ease the burden on your loved ones during a difficult time. By making arrangements in advance, you provide your family with clear guidance and reduce the emotional and financial stress they might otherwise face. Here are some key benefits and steps involved in funeral pre planning:

Benefits of Funeral Pre planning

1. **Eases Emotional Burden**: Losing a loved one is an emotionally challenging experience. By pre planning your funeral, you spare your family from having to make difficult decisions while they are grieving. They won't have to guess your preferences or worry about making the "right" choices, as you will have already outlined your wishes.
2. **Financial Relief**: Funerals can be expensive, and the costs can add up quickly. Pre planning allows you to set aside funds specifically for your funeral expenses, which can alleviate the financial burden on your family. Many funeral homes offer prepayment plans, enabling you to lock in current prices and avoid future inflation¹.
3. **Ensures Your Wishes Are Honored**: Preplanning gives you the opportunity to specify exactly how you want your funeral to be conducted. Whether you have particular religious or cultural practices, or simply personal preferences for music, readings, or the type of service, pre planning ensures that your final wishes are respected².
4. **Provides Peace of Mind**: Knowing that everything is taken care of can provide peace of mind for both you and your family. You can rest assured that your loved ones will not be left with the stress of planning a funeral during an already difficult time³.

Steps to Preplan a Funeral

1. **Research and Choose a Funeral Home**: Start by researching funeral homes in your area. Speak with funeral directors to understand the services they offer and their pricing. It's important to find a funeral home that aligns with your needs and budget⁴.
2. **Decide on the Type of Service**: Consider what type of service you would like. This could be a traditional funeral with a viewing and burial, a cremation, or a memorial service. Think about the location, whether it be a funeral home, a place of worship, or another meaningful venue⁵.
3. **Outline Specific Details**: Plan the specific elements of your funeral, such as the music, readings, and who you would like to participate. You can also decide on details like the type of casket or urn, and any special requests you may have.
4. **Consider Financial Arrangements**: Discuss payment options with the funeral home. Many offer prepayment plans that allow you to pay for your funeral in installments. This can help manage costs and ensure that your family is not left with unexpected expenses.
5. **Document and Share Your Plan**: Once you have made your decisions, document your funeral plan and share it with your family and any relevant parties. Make sure they know where to find this information when the time comes.

Funeral pre planning is a considerate and practical step that can provide significant benefits for your family. By taking the time to plan your funeral in advance, you can ensure that your final wishes are honored, reduce financial strain, and provide your loved ones with the guidance they need during a challenging time. It's a gift of peace and clarity that can make a world of difference when it matters most.

Grief and Children

Fri, 31 May 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Losing a loved one is an incredibly challenging experience, and when children are involved, it becomes even more complex. As parents or caregivers, we want to support our children through grief and help them navigate their emotions. Here are some tips to handle grief and loss of a loved one when you have small children:

Remember that grief doesn't follow a specific timeline, and children may express their feelings differently than adults. Be patient, understanding, and compassionate as they navigate this difficult journey. By providing a supportive environment, you can help them cope with their loss and find healing in their own time.

Fred’s Friends Day Trips

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 05:00:00 GMT

What makes the day trips unique? Who are they for? What do those who have went on one of the day trips have to say?

Each trip is unique in its own way, and it always includes a delicious lunch. The trips are for everyone. One does not have to had lost a loved one or dear friend to go on one of the trips. All you have to do is sign up and pay and the rest is taken care of. Those who have experienced one of the trips have gone on another. The trips are changed each year and there is usually something for everyone. Below are some of the things those who have traveled have had to say after their experience.

"Hi Fred. I like the day trips because we get together as a group and go places. When I went on my first trip after the loss of my husband I was surprised. At the time I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again. But I really enjoyed the trip.” DH

“The day trips are fun, we need fun and the first one is the most difficult. for a lot of us, it is without our human. You took us out of our small lonely world, and we enjoy other peoples company and realize we are not alone, for this outing. Then we realize we are looking forward to the next one. Our small world is expanding...” SS

“The Day Trips are usually fun & interesting. Most things are included in the price, bus transportation, activities, food, etc. and they are fun and a good opportunity to know each other better.” S

“I would say the day trips are a wonderful way to get out and enjoy time with others. The trips are always educational, informative and fun. They are well worth the money.” JP

“The day trips are a bright spot, like a breath of fresh air to the heavy, grieving heart and mind. Members of the group look forward to the various destinations.” JH

“Although I pick n choose, having gone on only a few of the day trips, I find they are an opportunity to do something or go somewhere I want. I may not go if it were up to me to do by myself or to travel to on my own. L

"They certainly help improve my mood by providing the opportunity to get out to be among people rather than stay at home. Sometimes feeling stuck at home brings on the awareness of "the quiet", the missing of loved ones, the loneliness now that life is so different with the emptiness that grows with loss." KR

"It is good to get out of that "feeling stuck" zone. If not helpful for my frame of mind, I find maybe I can be of help to someone else by encouraging them to get out and accompanying them." S

"Having already built a bit of connection with people from the Wednesday night Grief Support Group, it helps to feel comfortable to be able to enjoy a day out with people I already know." SS

"I like and appreciate that the day trips help with the emotional balance between dealing with feelings stirred up from topics dealt with at grief group or even days that are tough, and then the chance to switch to being able to have some enjoyment from the occasional day trips” JL

Think Before You Speak

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 04:00:00 GMT

When attending a funeral or a visitation think before you speak. Why you may wonder or even ask why this is important. Think of how you felt when you learned of the death of someone you cared so deeply about. Your mind went through many things at the moment of learning of the death. Why? Why now and not later? It can’t be true! My heart hurts. I can’t live without him or her. What do I do now?

It is an act of kindness to express your sympathies after a person dies, but what do you say? Common things are, I am sorry for your loss, Please accept my condolences, or sometimes just being present and listening, truly listening is more valuable than any spoken word can be. One has to understand a person has just suffered a loss, that at times may be devastating to the person or family and friends. It does not matter how long the person may have lived, it may have been ninety years, forty, thirty or even ten or a matter of moments. Under any circumstances do not diminish the value of a life. The person mattered to those who are grieving. Consider this a woman has carried a child for nine months and the child is still born or days after birth the child dies. Both parents feel the anguish of the loss as well as the family. A young woman’s life is taken by murder, those who loved and cared about her feel the loss. A wife suffers the loss of her husband to a heart attack after more than fifty years of marriage. A child riding his bike is struck by a car and dies.

What do all of these have in common other than the fact that they have died? Each of them along with their family and friends had hopes, dreams, memories and a plan for the future. Be sensitive to the needs of those grieving and think about what you may say to those suffering a loss.

Tell Your Story

Wed, 09 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

I wouldn’t consider myself a historian or even a history buff, but I do enjoy history and the telling of stories. The one fascinating part of all of it is this none of us where there at the time the events happened know exactly what happened. At this moment you’re wondering what this is all about. It’s about you the one who is reading this and saying to yourself what is this man talking about? History? Yes, your history and your life story is what this is all about. Have you ever sat with family members a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle and listened to them? I mean really listened to what they are saying. I’ll explain further in a moment, but first a back story.

In 2013, (wow time flies) I had begun to do what many call urban exploration where I would photograph abandoned buildings in various stages of decay. It was pretty exciting at the time driving through Detroit, looking for former industrial buildings, former churches, synagogues, stores and so forth. There was a certain amount of beauty in these structures as they had begun to be taken over by the environment around them.

One day as I was taking a “ride” around the city I had remembered a church off of Linwood and Blaine streets I would pass often while headed to do my studies. With camera in hand, I found what I was looking for. To my disappointment as well as excitement the church was abandoned and beginning to crumble. I noticed something odd on the building for a church, Hebrew letters and the words Mishkan Yisrael. Then I knew this at one time had been a synagogue. There was a sense of excitement racing through me, I had to know more. Who? What? Why?

I answered those questions and many more over the past ten years. The who the what and the why weren’t always answered as quickly as I thought. It was countless hours of looking at newspaper articles, census records, cemetery records, etc. What am/was I doing? As I was researching the structure and as I went along many other structures, I noticed names of people who were affiliated with the organizing, planning, building and use of the buildings. This opened up a whole new mystery. Who were these people and what did they do? I found many to be butchers, bakers, attorneys, tailors, dressmakers and many other occupations. The one thing they all had in common was they had lived in these communities I was driving through looking for buildings to photograph. Again, I rummaged through, Polk guides, newspapers articles, census records and more to find out about where these people lived and how they interacted in the communities they lived in. It wasn’t always easy as I would take a look at some of the records and find a few things out or nothing at all, there were many times I hit the jackpot and there would be a wealth of information (obituaries are a great resource).

Now to what this whole thing is about. It’s about you, your family and your story. Listen closely to those stories the members of your family tell. Write them down, and add a few photographs or even ask family to write them down. Trust me there will come a day you wish you had.

Native American Poem

Mon, 08 May 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Native American Poem

I give you this one thought to keep.
I am with you still. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone.
I am with you still in each new dawn.

The preceding poem was written by an unknown author. I often wonder why people who write poems sign off as anonymous. Could it be the one who wrote it just wanted to share their thoughts with the world and not want any kind of fame or fortune? It may be more about being humble in a world where it seems many want a few moments of fleeting fame. Regardless of why it was written or why the poem remains anonymous isn’t the point of this writing. It is more about the deeper meaning of what happens after we die.

When we die, the earth will continue to rotate on its axis, the sun will rise and set, the day will begin and end, rain, wind, and nature will continue. What becomes of who and what we were has always been the question. The cherished possessions we had will remain and pass into the hands of another, or in a thrift or antique store or perhaps a landfill. We don’t get to make the choice when it comes to the material things. We do get to make a choice in what becomes of our memory after we are gone.

How so you are asking yourself by now. The answer is this, we are social beings, we have an innate need to be accepted, cherished, loved, etc. We fulfill these needs with social interaction, we seek out others who have similar interests, we attend life events, social events and hopefully we have lifelong relationships with others.

As we grow older our social groups grow smaller, it seems we are attending more funerals or memorial gatherings. There are still life events and moments but there are those who are no longer with us in the physical world. Yet as the poem tells us they are still with us in each new day.

An extract from Fahrenheit 451

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

The Holidays

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT

They come every year whether we like it or not. The “official” start of the holiday season being Thanksgiving. Yet, does grief increase at this time of the year, or is just more noticeable to any of us who are grieving a loss. In reality grief is always with us we tend to keep it to ourselves and try not to let others know we are still feeling the loss even years later of someone we cared deeply about.

rief seems to intensify at holiday time, especially when families gather at home. The table is set, the turkey is roasted and resting in the kitchen, the cranberry sauce is chilling in the refrigerator, the potatoes are in their final moments of cooking. Family and friends are gathered in the living room, dining room and other places in the house. A few may be outside catching their breath. The moment arrives to call everyone to the table to ger ready to eat, perhaps a blessing is said, a favorite memory is shared. It’s time to carve the turkey and the one who used to carve it isn’t there. At that moment grief hits, you smile your best smile and try not to let anyone know what’s wrong. A silent tear rolls down your cheek, as your son says, “It’s okay mom”, as he lifts the carving knife and fork. All at the table our silent for a moment knowing, understanding what you are feeling. You say, “Hey…I’m okay your father wouldn’t want us to be sad its going to be…okay.”

Its never “easier’ as the years go on, if I said it was going to be I wouldn’t be being honest, it is maybe a little softer but the one you cared for and cherished isn’t there. During the holidays we learn to adjust, to make a few changes, to put on a happy face. What we have to do is acknowledge the person who lived and loved, we don’t have to say their name every moment, what we have to do is mention it at least once.

Everyone who has come and gone before us deserves to be remembered. How exactly do we do this? We all have holidays and there are many that begin with Thanksgiving, a time we should take a moment to be thankful for not only what we have but who we have in our lives both present and past. So, hang that special Christmas ornament, light the candle on the Hanukah menorah, celebrate Kwanza, but most of all spend it with those you love.

An extract from Winnie the Pooh

Wed, 07 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

By AA Milne

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember.

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.

Who would have thought growing up reading Winnie the Pooh books that a golden yellow bear was giving us so much insight? Most of us probably didn’t even realize there was a deeper meaning in those words. The ones above have to have the most intent two lines that seem so simple but yet have such depth.

If a word with depth so deep at times we begin a sentence with if or what if, if only, or If I had or if I were a rich man. Life is filled with many ifs and if we don’t experience it in the full, we will never know. With that being said what was AA Milne telling us? Most likely that life is meant to be lived and all of us will be apart from someone we love and care about at some time or another. Yet the reality is the deeper one that death will occur and we will be separated from the one we love for a time.

There is a silver lining in this, we will be reunited with those we love. The message is pretty clear if you don’t over think it, if you take it as it is. Yes, loss is painful and it will happen in our lives and we will develop our own ways of coping from past experience. And YES, we find we can and will survive no matter what.

Quiet Moments

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

When was the last time you spent a quiet moment just doing nothing - just sitting and looking at the sea, or watching the wind blowing the tree limbs, or waves rippling on a pond, a flickering candle or children playing in the park?
Ralph Marston

In a time that seems so far away and often times distant which in reality really isn’t for time is relative. We look at the time on a clock each day, or on our cell phones or perhaps what some may consider to be an ancient artifact a watch. Yet do we really pay attention to time itself, yes, we do usually when it seems to go slowly or quickly.
In what I will call another time in life when I was a youngster of sorts I was with my parents and grandparents in a church we had stopped to visit. I don’t remember why we did just that we did. What is most significant about the event is my grandfather lifting me up to light a candle. He struck the match and helped me to light the candle, I had felt the warmth of the flame as it got too close to my fingers. It didn’t burn me it just did what a flame does, it doesn’t have intention as much as it has purpose. The purpose was to light the candle and say a small prayer, what I said that day over forty years ago is lost to memory. It must have been important enough to light a candle and place some coins into the slot.
Speed up a number of years to today, okay not exactly today but not yesterday either. Now instead of a candle in a church I light one in my own home. It’s a yahrzeit candle and it is lit on the anniversary of a loved one’s death or someone special. The candle burns for approximately 24 hours. Prayers can be said or simple words, but most importantly its lit in remembrance of the deceased on the eve of the anniversary of their death. The moments are what you make them as the moment lighting the candle until the moment it goes out is what matters. It’s a gentle reminder of a person who lived a life and needs to be remembered.
Yet there are many other times we light candles, at birthdays, weddings, dinners or just because, there is something about the glow of a candle that we lose ourselves in the glow of its flame even if it is for only a moment.

Take Time Today to Notice What Is Already in View

Fri, 06 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

In front of my house is a magnolia tree I planted some twenty or so years ago, so it is quite mature. Its spring so the flowers are beginning to come to life, and a few buds which will soon become leaves have begun to form. It’s been an odd spring, this year kind of cold, wet and windy but soon the earth will be warmed by the rays of the sun.

As I was leaving for work the other day, I noticed a young girl on her way to school pause and look up at the tree. I noticed she had a big smile on her face and she was saying something as she looked up. I thought to myself, she has noticed the flowers in the tree and she is enjoying them. It wasn’t until a few days later I had realized what had brought her such joy. A robin had built a nest in the upper branches, she does this every year. I laugh to myself as I think, “So, why did I hang the bird house in the tree?” It lies empty each year and I tell myself I need to cut the zip tie and take it down, yet it continues to hang there every year. I guess she isn’t interested in a fancy house made of ceramic for she has a nest of her own.

Since the tree has matured a robin has nested in it every year. I noticed her on my front lawn determined to pull a worm out of the ground. She had a pretty good hold and it seemed to be a tug of war between the bird and the worm. Needless to say, the robin won and became dinner for the bird. I stood there watching in awe as these two creatures went back and forth the worm using all its strength to not get eaten and the bird determined to have dinner.

By now you are wondering what this has to do with. Actually, quite a bit with the world around us and just how much we need to take a moment away from the mundane and take a look at what is right in front of us. Life is going to happen and we as people don’t take enough moments to sit back and just be.

What is Grief?

Thu, 13 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

What is Grief? Grief is defined at deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death. All through our lives we will experience death, from the time we our children until we are adults. The usual first deaths we experience in life are that of a pet, usually a cat, dog or fish. As we grow older the deaths, we encounter are grandparents, parents, siblings, spouses, children, aunts, uncles and friends as well as acquaintances. How each one of use works through the loss is unique to ourselves and the relationship of the individual who has died.

It would seem at first, we should be able to understand death itself, as noted above the first deaths we usually experience isn’t human. This is in no way to say the death of a pet is not significant it actually is. During my childhood years my cousin came upon a dead pigeon, he picked it up and took it to his grandfather asking him to fix it. His grandfather told him its was not possible the bird was dead. My cousin cried; his grandfather consoled him the best way possible. A “funeral” was held for the bird as it was buried in the earth. As children we have magical thinking of sorts that our parents, grandparents etc., have some sort of magical powers and they can fix everything and anything. Yes, they may be able to fix some things but not everything, they do their very best to make the loss due to death easier, by comforting us with a few words and allowing us to have a “funeral” for our pets.

Now you may be asking yourself what this has to do with grief? Everything actually. When we love someone, yes even a pet we have feelings of grief. We have a need to talk, to remember, to share, to process our feelings, our emotions and yes to cry. It is the early experiences with death in our formative years that affect our adult years in handling loss. None of us can harbor or hold onto the feelings we have after losing someone we have had a connection to. We need to let out those feelings, of frustration, anger, despair, and gain an understanding of what has happened.

Kahlil Gibran offers some insight into understanding death in his work On Death from his book The Prophet

On Death Kahlil Gibran 1883 (Bsharri, Mount Lebanon Mutasarrifate) – 1931 ( New York City) Girl's Heartbreaking Poem At Covid

Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

Candlelight Memorial scheduled in December- Please Join us!

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

The Martenson Family of Funeral Homes Annual Candle Light Memorial Service will be held at the Trenton Chapel 3200 West Road at 6:00 PM on Tuesday December 14, 2021 .

The service is open to the families we have served during the past year. Please feel free to invite family members and friends to the service. Everyone attending the service will receive a candle. For those who are unable to attend the service you may pick up a candle which will be available in the Lobby beginning on December 15, 2021.

Please call 734-671-5400 with the number of people attending by December 10, 2021.

Fred's Friends One Day Adventures

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Fred’s Friends One Day Adventures with Bianco Tours

Fred’s Friends had their last adventure for 2021 on November 4 with a trip to Zehnders of Frankenmuth to have a delicious chicken lunch with all the fixings and a show! The ladies and gentlemen in attendance were able to enjoy Three Men and a Tenor with time for shopping after.

The new year promises to be just as exciting with Fred’s Friends along with Bianco Tours bringing you even more trips for you to enjoy. On January 18, 2022 our first trip will be to Firekeepers Casino with a price of $39 for your round trip. This is only one of the many trips planned for 2022. All trips leave from the parking lot of the Martenson Funeral Home 3200 West Road.

Here is a list of the trips that will be offered in 2022

Historic Church Tour April 20, 2022

A peek into the historic church tour. We will be visiting 3 historic churches, Saint Anne de Detroit, Old Saint Mary’s, and Saint John Episcopal. The church tours will be docent led.

Pioneer Wine Trail June 22, 2022

Cornwell’s Turkeyville Dinner and Show July 14, 2022

Harvest Adventure October 4, 2022

Parade Company November 10, 2022

Flyers for the trips are forthcoming with all of the details of the trips. Most trips are under $100 and include lunch at a restaurant. The only exception to an included lunch is the Firekeepers Casino trip, lunch is on your own.

If you would like a flyer for the trips when they become available, please call 734-671-5400 and we will be happy to assist you.

Listen

Wed, 22 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

The following story is not about anyone single person it is the story of many, years of listening to others speak of their grief.

Jane is a 72-year-old widow she has had several losses in her life, this one being the most heartbreaking of her entire life. Jane woke to find her husband her constant companion of nearly fifty years had died during the night. Jane and her husband Andy were grade school sweethearts, they had met in the first grade and both had gone through grade school and high school together. They were rarely apart from each other. Jane had been a high school guidance counselor and Andy had worked as a Lawyer. Life was good for Jane and Andy they had children, and grandchildren, as well as great grandchildren.

Jane and Andy did what just about every family does, they enjoyed their careers raised a family, spent their days together with family and friends. Their relationship had its ups and downs as no relationship is ever perfect. Their children and grandchildren lived nearby the furthest away was less than one hours drive.

Jane felt an absolute loss when she had found Andy had died, he was not ill and they had just been out to dinner with the family the night before. Jane was devastated her companion, her friend her confidant, the man who loved her like no other was gone. She was at a complete loss.

Jane made funeral arrangements for Andy, it was much easier than she had thought it would be, the staff at the funeral home showed her great compassion. The day of visitation Jane knew would not be one of the easiest days of her life. During the family time, Jane’s family gathered together. They spent time comforting each other, sharing fond memories of a husband, father, grandfather and dear friend. There were tears of sorrow, tears of joy and yes, a few laughs.

As the family time came to a close Jane and the family knew it was time for relatives and friends to come to pay their respects to Andy. Family and friends came and went and Jane greeted each of them, thanking them for coming and for their kind words. Then it happened…What you may ask yourself.

Jane was sitting by herself when a man came over to her. He offered his sympathies to Jane and then said, “I know how you feel.” Jane was in a bit of a shock, in her mind she said with out saying it aloud, “How could he know how I feel?” He went on about how his aunt had died and how upset he was and it had been ten years since her death. Jane sat in disbelief, yet she sat quietly and she listened to him ramble on about other deaths he had experienced during his life. Jane was in disbelief, yet she never got angry or short with the man. After a few moments he got up and walked away. She sat for a few moments thought to herself, “What just happened?”

If you are wondering is there a moral to this story, yes there is. When paying respects to a family after a loss its not about your loss or losses. One should not say I know how you feel, because you really don’t. What you should do is offer your condolences to the family and share how you knew the deceased. Often times family members don’t know everyone who has come to pay their respects. It can be as simple as, “Andy was a good man, we used to have coffee together at the park”, or “Andy and I worked together he spoke fondly of his family.” Then there are times words may not be necessary and your presence and condolences are all that is needed at a difficult time.

A Life Lived

Wed, 11 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Fahrenheit 451

By Ray Bradbury

This poignant extract reminds us that success is not measured in terms of fame or fortune; rather, it is measured in the impact we made on the lives of those around us, and how we are remembered after we are gone.

An extract from Fahrenheit 451

Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there. It doesn’t matter what you do, he said, so as long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away.

Many of us have read Fahrenheit 451at some point it our lives whether it was in high school or college. Myself I never did; it may have been on the recommended reading list and I probably just chose another book to read. I was more for reading John Steinbeck then science fiction. It was not until my adult years I finally decided to read Fahrenheit 451 and I discovered it wasn’t what I thought it would be about. I won’t give the plot of the book away, though I would recommend reading it.

By now you may be saying to yourself, “What in the world is he getting at?” I use this quote quite often at funerals its one along with a few others that sends a clear message about the value of a person’s life. We don’t often realize what an impact some people have made on our lives until they have left this life and moved to another plane of life.

We as a people go through each day of life living what we consider to be our best life. We have families, children, grandchildren, parents, friends and pets. What we don’t realize is that one day those we love are going to leave us. Now we have the task of celebrating a life, and cherishing what we once had. We are faced with a task of summing up a life lived and we ask ourselves how exactly do I do this? One way is to take a look at the words above and let your mind wander to the moments of life with your loved one, the moments that impacted your life. Then let those thoughts run freely through your mind taking a few moments to write them down as you tell the story of a life lived.

Writing a Condolence Letter

Thu, 15 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

A death has occurred and you’re at a loss for words, your first thought is to go to the store and purchase a sympathy card. Yet you want it to be more personal than a card with something like Deepest Sympathy on the loss of your loved one with a brief sentiment on the inside. Yet your heart and mind tell you to say more, you have been a part of the deceased’s life for most of your lives. Then a fleeting thought enters your mind of making a memorial donation in their memory, though you still want to be personal.

The loss of friend is just as heartbreaking as the loss of a family member, your friend was just like family. You met in kindergarten, developed a friendship that spanned many years, attended one another’s marriages, birth of children and many other life cycle events. Now your faced with writing a condolence letter to the family. Yes, some people do still write letters, as convenient as it may seem to send a text or an email it’s just not personal enough. Now, you find yourself asking what do I need to say.

The answer isn’t really as complicated as it may seem, it’s a matter of not over thinking and letting your mind flow. Since the death occurred you may have been reminiscing about days and moments gone by, those special times of life. You think of the day you met, the school trips, the times on the playground, the trek to the candy store, the first dates, the pool parties, the weddings and baby showers.

The letter can be short or long and it shouldn’t be about you and your family alone, yes it can be mentioned how the loss has had an impact on you and yours.

How to start

A flow of many emotions will be going through you as you take pen to paper to write your letter. This is normal, those teary eye moments, the laughter and back to tears while you reminisce. In your letter from the heart talk about the special life moments, start off with, “Your mom, she was a wonderful lady”, I remember the time your father and I first went fishing at the lake”, and tell the story of the adventure. Talk about the happy and good times the moments of wonder, awe, the road trips you took together, how dreams were fulfilled and adventures had. The letter can be as long or short as you like just remember it doesn’t have to be the next great novel.

Visiting a grave site

Fri, 04 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

“How often should I visit the cemetery or should I visit at all?”

“Is it okay to talk to my loved one while I am there and should I speak out loud?”

The time after a death can be difficult for every one as we each grieve in our own way and we ask ourselves the above question or many others concerning visiting the cemetery.

There is no right or wrong answer the most common answer is your own comfort level. If you feel comfortable visiting the grave of your loved one daily, weekly, monthly or not at all that is okay. Many people visit as often as they feel necessary for themselves. If you feel comfortable you can take a lawn chair, a book or even a bit of lunch to the cemetery.

There is nothing wrong with talking to the deceased while at the cemetery or at home. In life we tell those around us about our day and the activities we have been doing. In death only life has ended not the relationship. We don’t get a physical answer in the form of words but a sense of profound peace comes over many people when they are able to talk with their loved ones.

What if your loved one was cremated and you don’t have a place to visit?

Some have chosen cremation instead of burial and the cremated remains have been scattered at their favorite place. Some have chosen to honor their loved one by planting a tree in their memory, or having a brick paver in a memorial area.

Spring Memorial service- May 18

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

The Martenson Family of Funeral Homes Annual Spring Memorial will be held at the Trenton Chapel (3200 West Road) at 6:00 p.m. on Tuesday May 18, 2021.

This year the service will be held outside of the building. The service is held each year for the families we have served. Please invite family members and friends to come along to the memorial service.

Please RSVP to 734-671-5400 with the number attending as those who attend the service will receive a candle to take home with them. If you are unable to attend the memorial gathering candles will be available in the front lobby for you to pick up from nine to five during the week and weekends as well.

FEMA to Help Pay Funeral Costs for COVID-19-related Deaths

Thu, 25 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Starting April 12 , FEMA will begin providing financial assistance for funeral expenses incurred after Jan. 20, 2020 for deaths related to coronavirus (COVID-19) to help ease some of the financial stress and burden caused by the pandemic. The policy was finalized today, and FEMA is now moving rapidly to implement this funeral assistance program nationwide. Resources here

To be eligible for COVID-19 funeral assistance, the policy states :

In the coming weeks, a dedicated 800 number will be established to help individuals who apply. In the meantime, potential applicants are encouraged to start gathering the following documentation:

More information regarding this assistance can be found at COVID-19 Funeral Assistance | FEMA.gov .

Contact Us

If you have any questions, please contact Office of External Affairs:

Follow Us

Follow FEMA on social media at: FEMA Blog on fema.gov , @FEMA or @FEMAEspanol on Twitter, FEMA or FEMA Espanol on Facebook, @FEMA on Instagram, and via FEMA YouTube channel .

Also, follow Acting Administrator Bob Fenton on Twitter @FEMA_Fenton .

FEMA Mission

Helping people before, during, and after disasters.

History of Funerals

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Why do we bury our dead? How do we honor their memory? We bury our dead to give their body a “resting” place which is usually in a cemetery in the ground or in a mausoleum. How did this concept come about with burying the body of a deceased person?

The following comes from a midrash. A midrash is an early Jewish interpretation of or commentary on a Biblical text, clarifying or expounding a point of law or developing or illustrating a moral principle. Every culture has different ways of taking care of the deceased this is only one of many.

“When Adam sat in front of his dead son Hevel (Abel) – the first dead human in history, he did not know what to do with the lifeless body. A raven flew near him carrying a dead raven in his beak. The raven proceeded to scrape the ground until a furrow was dug – large enough to place the dead bird in and then the raven covered and literally buried the dead bird. Adam saw this instinctive act of the raven and proceeded to do the same for the body of his son.”

At the time Adam and Eve didn’t have a funeral director to assist them with all of the questions they had so nature provided an answer. Today we have the advantage of meeting with a caring professional to help guide each of us through the funeral planning process. Our caring funeral directors have many years of combined experiences in assisting families at their time of need.

The funeral service can be as unique as the individual person, being able to celebrate their life in a way that is tailored to the life they lived.

Celebrating a life lived The Funeral Celebrants Point of View

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Often when meeting with a family after the loss of a loved one to plan a life celebration a family member will often say, “I don’t know how you do this when you didn’t know the person.” Or “How do you do this every day being with grieving people?”

When planning a life celebration, the key is listening to the people who are sharing thoughts, feelings, and reflections of their family member. To have a life celebration that truly reflects who the person was, how they lived and loved, helps the family to heal. One never really stops grieving a loss, it doesn’t get easier, it softens as time moves forward. It’s not actual or physical time that heals the pain it’s the love and friendship of those around you.

Sometimes I help create a life celebration for a person who I didn’t know or at times I have known the person. It’s a matter of taking everything you have learned or known about them and putting a life story together. Taking the moments of a person’s life whether they were twenty or ninety or somewhere in between and putting the story together. Their story is personal and heartfelt it’s not generic or canned, its one of a kind and it deserves to be told.

It is often said that it takes a special person to do the job you do. Every person whether it be a funeral celebrant, a nurse, doctor, clergy person, etc., each person is special. More often than not a profession picks the person and not the other way around. To be honest there are people who from a very young age know what they want to be when they grow up and some find their way as they go through life. A child is often asked what they want to be when they grow up and their answer is a doctor, an astronaut, lawyer, nurse, policemen or some may answer someone who helps others in some way.

When I was asked the question, I said a garbage man, I knew at young age it was a service that needed to be done and why not. Even then I knew I wanted to do something different then what everyone else wanted to do. As I look back in life, I realize now I was being prepared for what I do today, helping others through a difficult time, showing compassion, sensitivity, and caring.

How does this answer the question above, “How do you do this every day being with grieving people?” The best possible answer is this knowing I have sat with one in grief and listened carefully and helped them on their journey is what matters most. At the end of each day, it isn’t about me it’s about the families we serve.

Geneology

Sun, 31 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Have you had an interest in discovering your family’s history? Discovering where you family came from and how your ancestors came to the United States can be rather exciting.

To begin the discovery process, you will need a few basic tools, a note book or two, a pencil and some free time in your day to start researching. Wait a moment a pencil in today’s electronic world? Actually, yes, a pencil is necessary, from experience of researching there will be times information seems correct but you will discover its not always correct and you will need to change it. Where to begin, a family Bible is a great start, many times births, deaths and marriages were recorded in the Bible. Talk to your oldest living family members as well and ask some questions about your family.

The questions you can ask are unlimited. A few common ones to ask are, “Where was mom/dad born?” If you have a relative with a sense of humor, they may say a hospital of course. “Where did the family live?”, “Did they immigrate here from a foreign country?” These basic questions will lead you to a deeper search for who your ancestors were. There are many sites on line to use some are free and some you have to pay for to use them. Familysearch.org, ancestry.com, geni.com to just name a few. Cemeteries and city clerk offices are good resources as well. As an important note birth certificates are not public record, death certificates are a public record in the State of Michigan, please check with your state to be sure the death record is public. Below you will find a helpful list of resources to begin your search.

Michigan Resources

MICHIGAN CEMETERY RECORDS ONLINE

MICHIGAN CHURCH RECORDS ON MICROFILM AVAILABLE FOR USE AT THE BACON MEMORIAL LIBRARY, WYANDOTTE

These microfilms may include birth, baptism, confirmation, marriage, and death records

MICHIGAN CITY DIRECTORIES ONLINE

MICHIGAN CIVIL WAR SOLDIERS

MICHIGAN COSTUME RESOURCES

MICHIGAN DEATH RECORDS ONLINE

MICHIGAN DEATH RECORDS ON MICROFILM AT BACON MEMORIAL LIBRARY, WYANDOTTE

MICHIGAN DEATH RECORDS ON MICROFILM AT FAMILY HISTORY CENTERS

MICHIGAN PROFESSIONAL GENEALOGISTS

MICHIGAN RESTORATION REPAIR

LEGAL GENEALOGIST

DETROIT STREET NUMBER CHANGES, 1921

Sources were gathered by and credit is given to Gail Hershenzon.

Tulip Time! May 4

Fri, 08 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

As we begin a new year, we have new things to look forward to in 2021. One of them will be the first group trip offered by Fred’s Friends. The trip is to Holland Michigan for a day trip to see the famous tulips! Please note: It has been changed to May 4 at 6:15am start!

You may be wondering who Fred’s Friends is. The group started about five years ago when I had been approached by a representative of Bianco Tours about trying a bus tour to Motor City Casino in Detroit. I thought to myself what a novel idea for the participants of the grief group, their family and friends. I presented the idea of a bus trip to the group and they were quite excited about the idea. We gave it a try and soon after the men and women in the group wanted to know when we were going on another bus trip! I scheduled other trips and Barb Braines from Bianco Tours said, “Now you have to give your group a name.” I asked the group for a name and they came up with “Fred’s Friends”.

Since conception of the group, we have been on many different day trips, The Parade Company, The Whitney, Pewabic Pottery, Greektown Casino, Ford Field and several other places.

2020 was to say the least an unusual year for all of us, and we all need something to look forward to. This bus trip is just one of several for the New Year, there will be others to look forward to. It is my hope to be able to have at least two to three more in the coming year. It may be a trip to Turkeyville to see a show, or a trip to Marshall maybe even Frankenmuth. As we move forward advance notice will be given on all trips so you can make plans to join us!

When you have just lost your spouse

Tue, 01 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Losing your spouse is an unimaginable experience. Your spouse is the person you want to spend your entire life with and always have by your side. It’s life-altering when these plans are changed by their death, whether or not it was expected.

There are an estimated 258.5 million widows throughout the world, per the 2015 Global Widows Report by The Loomba Foundation. In the U.S., there are an estimated 11.64 million widows, per Statista 2017 statistics . And according to the 2016 U.S. Census , 24% of people age 65 and older are widowed.

With June 23 being International Widows Day, we want to share some grief resources and memorialization ideas for widows. Below, we suggest several ways to cope with their loss and honor their spouse’s memory this International Widows Day.

Grief Organizations

Sisterhood of Widows

Mary Francis — a widow, author, grief coach, and speaker — founded this organization to help other widows through their grief journeys. Through grief resources, sharing stories, and a community of support, widows can learn healthy ways to cope with their loss.

Camp Widow

Camp Widow is an in-person weekend program for widows to attend informative grief workshops, create mementos and traditions, and meet other widows. Currently, Camp Widows has three locations: Tampa, Florida; San Diego, California; and Toronto, Ontario. Click here to learn more about the program and how to get involved.

Modern Widows Club

The Modern Widows Club currently has many chapters throughout the U.S. for widows to come together to heal and support one another. There also are events throughout the U.S. to meet other widows who can relate to your grief. If there isn’t currently a chapter in your area, you can start a chapter in your own community to help other widows near you.

Grief Blogs and Articles

The Huffington Post

The Huffington Post has a countless number of articles about widowhood. The article topics range from grieving tips to reading other people’s grief journeys.

One Fit Widow Blog

Michelle Steinke-Baumgard — an author, speaker, fitness coach, mother, and remarried widow — shares her grief journey and how fitness helped her cope with her loss. She also wrote the book Healthy Healing that helps those who are grieving cope with their loss through exercise.

The Singing Widow

Through openly honest blogs and inspirational videos, this widow shares her story in the hopes to inspire and help other widows grieve and live a happy life again.

Grief Books

I Will Not Forget You : Daily Meditations for Grieving Widows and Widowers — Ellen Sue Stern

Through daily inspiration, this guide can help you mourn your loss, honor their memory, and discover your new identity as you look to the future.

Widowed Too Soon : A Young Widow’s Journey Through Grief, Healing, and Spiritual Transformation — Laura Hirsch

Those who lost their spouse at a young age can relate to this author’s grief journey and learn ways to grieve and live life again without the physical presence of their spouse.

Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart : 100 Practical Ideas After Your Husband or Wife Dies — Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt discusses ways to grieve the loss of a partner that relate to young widows, elderly widows, and everyone in between.

Memorialization Ideas

Mementos

Making a memento in honor of your spouse can help keep their memory alive. Here are some ideas:

Memorial Traditions

Creating a memorial tradition to honor their memory lets their life story live on forever, such as:

Honor Their Memory

Finding a way to honor your loved while making a difference in the lives of others, such as:

Share your grief and memorialization ideas in the comments!

How to Cope with Grief through the Holidays

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Those who are grieving the loss of a loved one may be dreading the oncoming holiday season. Annual traditions and celebrations may serve as painful reminders of your loss .

Understandably, you may not be feeling the holiday spirit, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t celebrate the holidays. Being with your family and friends can bring you some comfort and allow you to grieve and memorialize your loved one together. You can share memories and create new traditions to honor your loved one in your holiday celebration.

Below are some holiday-inspired ideas to honor your loved one.

Honor Your Loved One’s Memory Together

Gathering around the dinner table provides many opportunities to commemorate a loved one. Even with Covid, this can be done on Facetime or Zoom too. Although the holiday meal isn’t the same without that loved one’s physical presence, there are meaningful ways to honor them:

Don’t Forget to Include the Children

These are some meaningful and fun ways you can include children in holiday memorialization:

How You Can Honor Your Loved One This Holiday Season

Bringing family and friends together during the holidays is a great way to honor a loved one’s memory, but you also can create your own special ways to honor a loved one during the holidays:

What other ideas do you have for honoring a loved one during the holiday season? Share them with us at Martenson Family of Funeral Homes office@martenson.com

What Do You Say to the Family at the Funeral?

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

You don’t have to prepare some sort of lengthy speech. Just simply say a few kind words to express your condolences and show your support.

Below are a few condolence phrase examples:

“I’m sorry for your loss. (Insert name) was a great person and will be missed by many.”

“My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. (Insert name) was loved by a lot of people.”

“(Insert name) was a great person and an amazing (insert profession/hobby). I’m here for you if you want to talk or have someone to listen.”

You also can share a special memory you have with the deceased. This can be helpful if you knew the deceased but not their family very well. Sharing a short memory of you and the deceased can help them understand the relationship you had with them and what they meant to you.

How Long Should You Talk to Them?

This may depend on how well you know the grieving person. However, that doesn’t mean you need to have a long conversation if you know them better. Often times, your presence says more than words can. But it’s still thoughtful to say a few words of sympathy and support. Talk as long as you’re comfortable with, but remember that they have other people to visit with as well.

If you don’t know them that well, it’s okay to keep it simple. You could say something like, “I’m sorry for your loss. They will be missed,” and give other people a chance to talk to them. Then you can spend some time viewing any memorabilia displays or tribute videos. Also, don’t forget to sign the funeral register book.

What Should You Avoid Bringing Up?

When talking to the family, it’s best to avoid talking about the details of their loved one’s death. This also isn’t the time to make light-hearted jokes to help the family feel better, because this may just come off as disrespectful. If you have any hesitations about whether you should say something, you should probably avoid the subject to be safe.

Also, remember that everyone grieves differently. Avoid the phrases “I know how you feel” and “you’ll feel better with time.” No two people grieve exactly alike, and grief isn’t something that you get over. It’s an ongoing healing journey that can last months, years, or even forever.

When Should You Follow up with Them After the Funeral?

Depending on your closeness to the grieving person, you could first follow up a few weeks after the funeral service. You can keep checking in on them every few weeks to show that you’re thinking about them. Holidays, their loved one’s birthday, anniversaries, and other significant dates that may be difficult for them provide more opportunities to reach out.

How Should You Follow up with Them?

Even the smallest gestures can mean the most to those who are grieving a loss. These are just a few ways that you can reach out to them:

· Call them to say hello and see how they’re doing.

· Invite them over to your house or to a social gathering. Keep in mind that they may not feel ready to participate in social settings so don’t take a declined invitation personally.

· Bring them a home-cooked meal to share. Just make sure that you ask permission to come over ahead of time.

· Send them a note. Even better, send them a handwritten note in the mail.

· Offer to help them create a memorial in honor of their loved one, such as a DIY photo wreath.

How else can you follow up with families after the funeral? Share your ideas with us in the comments!

Tell a Loved One’s Life Story Through Tribute Video

Tue, 01 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Before we create a Tribute Video, we need to learn who their loved one was. To do this, we ask families open-ended questions about their loved one to learn their life story.

Also, we keep your questions simple and only ask one thing at a time.

Don’t forget to share stories if you’re comfortable. Oftentimes, these can give you even more insight into their loved one’s personality and who they were. That’s the power of storytelling, and a loved one’s life is the most important story to tell.

Below are a few questions so we may learn about your loved one:Simply email us your answers at office@martenson.com , call us 734-671-5400, or find out how we can video chat.

If you could describe (insert name here) in only five words, what would they be?

Describe your favorite memory you have with (insert name here).

How would (insert name here) spend their ideal day off?

What made (insert name here) special to you?

Describe (insert name here)’s ideal weekend plans.

We hope to evoke fond memories by appealing to the five senses

Now that we know your story, we brainstorm how you can use video to showcase their personality and evoke memories. One effective way to evoke memories is by appealing to the five senses: sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste.

For instance, it can be a video of their loved one cooking that reminds them of the smell and taste of their homemade cookies. Or, it can be as simple as the music playing during the Tribute Video, the photos they see, and holding the DVD to feel closer to them.

To make a truly personalized tribute, we can use the family’s photos and videos along with Tribute Video’s innovative features. Use photos and videos from their childhood, vacations, them with their family and friends, doing their hobbies, and other important life events to showcase what made them unique.

Then, we can easily add the photos to Tribute Center with its high-speed scan technology. To compliment your photos and videos, there are nearly 200 intros and endings to choose from, along with 400 licensed songs and 850 high-quality stock video clips to help showcase their interests. We just choose your favorites and the video creation tools automatically sync the music and transitions.

Once we're finished creating your Tribute Video, you can preview it to make sure it captures their loved one’s life story. Then, we can add the link to their loved one’s Tribute Wall, so your family and friends can watch it.

We also can burn Tribute Videos to DVDs to create meaningful memorial gifts during these stressful times.

To make grief and memorialization while social distancing easier, families can video chat and watch it together. Then, they can rewatch it whenever they want to feel closer to their loved one. At Martenson Family of Funeral Homes, we can help you through it with care and involvement in our video Tribute process.

Our customer service plan simply is that it is all about YOU

Wed, 26 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

First things first. At Martenson Family of Funeral Homes, we know you are going through a difficult time and we are in business to help you through it. We believe in communication and we will find what works best for your family to help you make the best decisions.

Kaizen is a Japanese term often used in workplaces that translates loosely to “constant small improvements”. This idea of continuous improvement is the fuel needed for our staff to provide the very best of care to you and your family.

We believe in four pillars of our business, transparency, honesty, dignity, and integrity. Our values lead us to serve this and surrounding communities with the highest level of professionalism, ethics, and morality.

INTEGRITY: We hold ourselves to a strict ethical standard. We are open and honest in all that we do, providing compassion and understanding during a difficult part of life. Our professionalism comes with a strict moral compass, and we are proud of whom we are and whom we trust to represent Martenson Family of Funeral Homes.

DIGNITY: Our staff is committed to doing what is right. We understand the care of your loved one is your primary concern. We treat you and your family not only how we want, but how we expect to be treated when faced with the loss of a loved one.

HONESTY & TRUST: Our calling is to deliver faithful ministry to those in need of care and guidance. We could not carry out that calling without your trust. We gain your trust through our actions, service, and honesty.

TRANSPARENCY: We want to help you shine a light on a difficult subject. We pride ourselves on being transparent about everything we do.

We can answer questions about your existing funeral plans and pre-funded accounts. If your fund was set up through a different funeral home or provider and you are concerned about the account status, please contact us directly. Call us anytime at 734-671-5400.

WHY IT MATTERS: We are here as a trusted resource, if you have questions about any aspect of funeral service, cremation, burial, trust accounts, and anything else that may be related to the loss of a loved one or planning for your future. Whether it is a service in the Downriver area or even in another state; whether it is for yourself or a family member; whether it is in relation to Martenson Family of Funeral Homes or another funeral provider, want to help guide you through this difficult life stage.

Martenson Family of Funeral Homes knows that actions show true character of a company, and we are proud of our service and our commitment as a funeral home that keeps your best interests at heart, serving you with the integrity, dignity, honesty, and transparency you deserve. As always, we are here in your time of need to celebrate life’s stories and encourage faith.

Suicide complexities often require peer help to gain insight to grief and mourning process

Tue, 07 Jul 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Grief and mourning are not the same thing. Perhaps you have noticed that people tend to use the words “grieving” and “mourning” interchangeably. There is an important distinction, however. It is alsothe case if someone you love has committed suicide.

We as humans move toward integrating loss into our lives not just by grieving, but by mourning. You will move toward reconciliation not just by grieving, but through active and intentional mourning.

Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone we love dies. Think of grief as a box. It holds your thoughts, feelings, and images of your experience when you are bereaved. In other words, grief is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss.

Mourning is when you take the grief you have on the inside and express it outside of yourself. Another way of defining mourning is “grief gone public” or “the outward expression of grief.”

Talking about the person who died, crying, expressing your thoughts and feelings through art or music, and celebrating special anniversary dates that held meaning for the person who died are just a few examples of mourning.

Warning: After someone you love has completed suicide, your friends may encourage you to keep your grief to yourself. If you were to take this message to heart, the disastrous result would be that all of your thoughts and feelings would stay neatly bottled up inside you.

A catalyst for healing, however, can only be created when you develop the courage to mourn publicly, in the presence of understanding, compassionate people who will not judge you. At times, of course, you will grieve alone, but expressing your grief outside of yourself is necessary if you are to slowly and gently move forward in your grief journey. At Martenson Family of Funeral Homes We pledge to be a professional resource for the benefit of the entire community and accept this unique responsibility to honor the dignity of life, to aid the family in time of grief and to encourage remembrance with each family within its own traditions, culture and financial means.

Toll Free Suicide Loss Helpline: 1-800-646-7322 There are many resources that provide coping strategies with death by suicide. Some include returning to work, communicating with children, and guidelines for schools.

The Alliance of Hope is for suicide loss survivors. This organization reminds people that they are not alone in their loss. Their website includes an online forum where survivors can connect, resources for those who just lost someone to suicide, and a blog with helpful information about suicide loss

The Friends for Survival organization is unique because all of its staff and volunteers have been directly impacted by suicide. They have several publications, a monthly newsletter, and a suicide loss helpline — all resources to help your families.

Family or fur friend- this is the compassion at Martenson...

Tue, 19 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Thinking about the death of your pet is heartbreaking, whether it’s happened already or it’s yet to come.

But the sooner you plan for your pet’s final disposition, the easier it will be to take care of those practicalities when the time comes. Here’s how you can plan and prepare for a pet cremation.

First, it’s a good idea to discuss pet cremation with your veterinary office. At your pet’s next appointment, ask which crematory the business contracts with.

Mention that you’d like as much information about the crematory as possible so that you can make a good decision when you have to.

Losing a pet is losing a member of your family . When you have to say goodbye to a beloved friend, you face feelings of grief and loss. Many people also feel a great deal of anxiety about what they should do with their pets’ remains.

Planning ahead for the practicalities of losing a pet can help you cope with those stresses when the time comes. One of the practicalities of pet death is deciding whether or not cremation is right for you and your precious pet.

Pet cremation is the most popular type of final disposition for pets when they die. While burial used to be popular for pets, cremation has overtaken burial in recent decades. A key reason for cremation’s rise in popularity is the service’s price: while burial in a pet cemetery is costly and the cost of pet cremation is normally less expensive.

Additionally, pet cremation allows pet owners to keep their pets’ remains with them at home. Pet owners who cannot bury their pets at home because of local regulations or because they don’t own their own property are more likely to opt for cremation.

They can visit their pet’s remains whenever they would like, without traveling to a pet cemetery. They can also take the remains with them if they move.

Pet cremation may be popular, but it is still not right for everybody. You might learn something about pet cremation that makes you want to go with a different option. Whether or not you choose pet cremation, it is important to be informed about the entire process.

If you do choose to cremate your pet, there are precautions you can take and decisions you can make, to ensure your pet is treated with respect.

On a technical level, pet cremation works much the same as human cremation. However, the pet cremation process also differs from human cremation in several keyways.

Before the cremation can occur, your pet has to be transported from his or her place of death to the crematory. Because pets often die at the vet’s office, most veterinary hospitals and clinics have agreements with their local pet crematories.

If your pet dies at the veterinarian’s office, the staff will ask you whether you would like them to transport your animal to the crematory. You will sign a form agreeing to the type of cremation and other details.

Choosing private pet cremation at Martensons Family of Funeral Homes means your pet will be cremated individually, in a clean cremator. This gives you the opportunity to retrieve your pet’s ashes and do with them what you would like.

We can even offer the additional service of cremation viewing, at no extra charge, which allows the pet owner to watch the initial cremation process.

Finally, if you chose private pet cremation, you will be able to pick up your pet’s remains directly at Martenson Family of Funeral Homes.

If your pet dies at home, call Martenson Family of Funeral Homes (734-671-6400) and we will give you a personal walk through of how we can proceed. But we will handle all the arrangements for you and help you through the process as we would for any family member. We offer privately cremation for our pets, and for most pet owners , the extra investment is ultimately worthwhile. Our compassion is for real.

One night about 11pm, for example, we received a Facebook message from a distraught person who realized her pet was about to pass away. Our Director kindly gave information about what Martenson Family of Funeral Homes could do for her and the family and walked them though the process. Later that night they messaged again, distraught that their dog had in fact died and our Director again responded within minutes: “I am so sorry and I wanted to reach out. I remembered how hard the first night was when our Pekingnese died. It is just my husband and I so we were acutely aware of how quiet it was in the house as we sat at home that first night. So please know that someone is thinking about you both as you try to navigate this terrible night. We now have a Giant Schnauzer who is 10 and I know there will be a day when we are there again and I pray that day is as far away as possible.” Waiting until the morning was very difficult for this family, but we believe our compassionate Director helped them through it.

Martenson COVID 19 Update

Tue, 07 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Martenson COVID 19 Update

4/7/2020

The health and well-being of the families we serve, friends, neighbors and staff is our top priority. But we also wanted you to know that you can still have a public visitation and funeral service for your loved one.

Because of the large square footage of Martenson Family of Funeral Homes, we can still host public gatherings at this time. We also want to assure you that we are complying with state mandated safety regulations to help keep our community safe.

Effective at 12:01 AM, March 24, 2020 and through 11:59 PM, April 30, 2020 the Governor of the State of Michigan has issued EXECUTIVE ORDER No. 2020-21 which is the temporary requirement to suspend activities that are not necessary to sustain or protect life. Within this Executive Order, death care services (funeral and crematory) have been designated as essential to the public health. Therefore, the Martenson family of Funeral Homes will continue to operate.

Although public visitations, funerals and burial services are capped at 50 persons within one space, they may still be held. We also have live-streaming for services for those wishing to have the service on Facebook.

We are following the suggested social distancing guidelines. Food-sharing is being discouraged, so we do ask that you do not bring food.

Of course, if you’d rather wait until this Executive Order is lifted to allow you to have a larger visitation, funeral and burial, we can help you with options for that, as well.

Additionally, you’re always welcome to come in and meet in person. We’ve set up large, private meeting spaces in which the funeral arrangement conference is held. If you to prefer to meet via phone, that is also an option.

Our goal is to work with you during your very difficult time to help you find the most fitting tribute for your loved one. In compliance with this Executive Order, and for the safety of our employees, we will be cutting back on daily staffing hours and only calling our employees in, as needed. Rest assured though, all of our great employees are only a phone call away to help meet your needs. And, our phones are still being answered 24 hours a day.

Every life lived is beautifully unique and should be celebrated in the same way. We are here to help you plan a service that honors your loved one and aids in the process toward healing.

John Martenson, Jr.

Our New Quarterly Newsletter

Fri, 28 Feb 2020 05:00:00 GMT

The Martenson Family of Funeral Homes will be launching its new quartelry newletter very soon! It will appear here in the blog area.

2013 Michigan Senior & Caregiver Summer Expo

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on June 23, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The Martenson Family of Funeral Homes participated in the Michigan Senior & Summer Expo at Southland Mall on June 22, David Martenson and Fred Cislo Jr. were available to answer questions to those who had them.

Memorials

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

There are many times a family will request “in lieu of flowers” please make donations to the family or a charity. Does this mean you can not send flowers? To answer the question simply no, you can still send flowers. The florist will be happy to help you choose flowers of your liking, a terrarium, a blanket or other fitting memorial for the family.

Does Grief ever end?

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on October 21, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Does grief ever end is one of the most popular questions. In short no, it is a part of life and the journey each of us takes. Grief stays with us for the rest of our lives. As time goes on the pain of the loss is still there it is just not as strong as it was in the begining. As one journeys through grief there are changes in life going on as well.

Grief has a pattern and it is unique to every indvidual depending on the nature of the realtionship with the person who died. The realtionship between spouses is different as a child(s) relationship with his or her parents. It is the same for any relationship each person will feel the pain of loss or the lack of depending on their own personal feelings towards the one who died.

Routine Car Maintenance

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Tom Chenette presented on the importance of car maintenance, he explained the basics to the Expressions of Grief Group. Included in his presentation was how to check the vital fluids as well as how to add to them. Tom gave the group a tire pressure gauge and some important handouts on car care as well.

Mr. Handyman …and more!

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on May 15, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

On May 14, 2013 Mark Slagle, President of Mr. Handyman in Trenton came in to discuss services his company provides. Mark offered a wealth of information to the participants in the Expressions of Grief Support Group. Mr. Handyman offers a wide variety of Home Maintenance and Repairs to homeowners as well as business in the Downriver, Monroe and Belleville communities. www.mrhandyman.com

Coping with the Holidays

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on December 6, 2012 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Christmas is upon us and soon after follows the New Year. How does one cope during this time with the loss of someone special to them?

How you cope with each day is as unique as each snowflake is.There is no right or wron way to feel only the way you feel. Joy may feel lost from your heart, but that is only temporary, your loved one is always near you and with you, remeember death is the end of a life not a relationship. The relationship you had continues to live on, only in a different way. Those we loved want to be remembered and talked about. During the holidays you can create memories of your loved one for generations to share.

Some suggestions are:

Take out the family photo albums from holidays past look at the pictures adn share them with your children and grandchildren. Share the stories of how you searched all night for the perfect tree or for just the right set of ornaments.

Light a special candle. One you have designed yourself. Take a pillar candle(color of your choice) and decorate it with pictures and bits and pieces of decorations.

Gather the grandchildren, some construction paper, glue, pipe cleaners and whatever else you can think of and make some special ornaments together. Hang them on the Christmas Tree or in the house.

Take some paper, crayons, markers or colored pencils and make some cards for the folks in nursing care centers. This will brighten your day as well as another’s.

Start a new tradition it may be something as simple as taking a walk and enjoying the Christmas displays or if it’s real cold take the car and don’t forget the coco!

Adopt a family in need contact your local church or community center and find out who may need a little extra cheer.

Volunteer a bit of time at the local animal shelter or donate a basket of food to the shelter in the memory of your loved one. Remember our furry friends get hungry too.

The possibilities are endless of what you can do. At times bringing joy to another can begin to heal our deepest sorrows.

Woodmere Cemetery Notables

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on October 24, 2012 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

On Monday October 22, 2012 Gail Hershenzon gave a presentation about the history of Detroit’s Woodmere Cemetery. Gail’s slide show and discussion gave a rich history of many of the notable Detroiter’s buried in Woodmere as well as many others who are interred there. www.woodmerecemeteryresearch.com Gail’s presentation was hosted at the Ridge Chapel-Martenson Family of Funeral Homes. Gail is a retired school teacher and volunteers her time at Woodmere updating the website with information. The site is an ongoing project for Gail and she truly enjoys her work.

Annual Memorial Balloon Launches

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on May 21, 2014 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The Martenson Family of Funeral Homes will be holding their Annual Memorial Balloon Launches again this year. The event is held each year in honor of your loved ones.

Allen Park Chapel 10915 Allen Road 6:00 p.m. June 17, 2014 (313) 386-6600

Trenton Chapel 3200 West Road 6:00 p.m. June 18, 2014 (734) 671-5400

Allore Chapel 203 East Elm Ave, Monroe June 19, 2014 (734) 241-5225

Please RSVP to the location of your choice with the number of persons attending. There is no cost for the event.

Who will tell my story?

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on August 25, 2014 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Death, dying dead. These words are the ones we don’t like to hear yet we know one day we will die and we don’t really want to think about it at all. Death is something that will happen to each of us in our due time, it is something we put to the back of our minds until it creeps to the front of our mind or suddenly it is right in front of us.

There are two interesting thoughts right there why did I choose the word “creeps” and suddenly? Here is the reason we see death daily but we don’t recognize it or acknowledge it right away. When we turn the television on or read a newspaper or magazine (for those who still do) we read about the death of a person or a group of people. In some way it has an affect on us but not as profound as if it were a close family member or dear friend.

Then there is the other deaths that are going on around us that we don’t really take notice of until the air changes to a different temperature. These are things like flowers, bees, leaves, bugs and the list goes on. We don’t often take notice of the decay that is below our feet when dandelions turn their bright yellow heads to the seeds that annoy us. At this point you the reader may be asking yourself how is this a death? It is in fact a death the flower had to die to turn into seeds to bring forth new life. Every living person, animal and bug under the sun has a life cycle. Even inanimate objects have a life cycle that in itself is a whole other blog.

How does this relate to the telling of your story. Each of us is born into this world by parents. Each of us knows how the birth and death cycle work but what about the time in between? That is your story. The time each of us is given from birth until death is our own and how we choose to use that time for better or worse is up to each of us. Now you may be wondering how do I tell my story? Do I write it all down in a book with endless chapters? Do I hit the high points of my life? What do I say? Where do I begin. Here is the answer on how to tell your story. Take a look at www.beremembered.com. This is where you are able to tell your story and more.

Memorial Garden Dedication

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

On June 5, 2013 the Allore Chapel Martenson Family of Funeral Homes dedicated their new Memory Garden in honor of families served during the past year. Family members planted flowers in pots in memory of their loved ones.

The garden is a place for family members to reflect, meditate or to take a few moments away. The garden will have new flowers planted by family members each spring.

Expressions of Grief Bereavement Support Group Potluck

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on June 19, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The Expressions of Grief support group tried something new this month. The members of the group brought different foods and desserts to be shared with the other members. There was broasted chicken, pasta, spinach salad, pineapple upside down cake, and cheesy potato’s just to mention a few.

Food has a way of bringing people together to share memories, stories and a bit of laughter. The members of the group shared a meal in the hospitality lounge of the funeral home.

Expressions of Grief

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on December 30, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The Expressions of Grief class will be offered at the Trenton Chapel Martenson Family of Funeral Homes (3200 West Road) in January. This four week class is designed to help participants work through the greiving process. The classes are small in size with about fifteen people in attendance and led by a facilitator.

The class begins on January 7, 2014 at 6:00 p.m. and will continue on January 14, 21 and 28. To register please call 734-671-5400.

Martenson Family of Funeral Homes Candlelight Vigils

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on December 5, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Our Annual Candle Light Vigils were well recieved on December 3rd and 4th. The Bell Choir from Christ the King Lutheran School played for the families gathered.

Cremation With Visitation

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on August 28, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Some families are choosing to have their loved ones cremated with a memorial service at the funeral home. So what does this mean for those visiting the funeral home? The answer is actually quite simple do the same as you would when paying your respects to the family with a body present. It is still appropriate to send flowers to the funeral home, make donations to the deceased’s favorite charity or memorials to the family.

Candle Light Vigil

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on November 14, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The Martenson Family of Funeral Homes Annual Candle Light Vigils will be held at the following locations. Services begin at 6:00 p.m. each evening.There is no charge to attend. At the Allen Park and Trenton locations the Bell Choir from Christ the King will be performing.

Allen Park Chapel 10915 Allen Road, Allen Park 1-313-386-6600 December 3, 2013

Trenton Chapel 3200 West Road, Trenton 1-734-671-5400 December 4, 2013

Allore Chapel 203 East Elm, Monroe 1-734-241-5225 December 5, 2013

Scrap Booking

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on October 20, 2012 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Have you considered scrap booking as a way to preserve your special memories? Gathering mementos and placing them in a scrap book can be helpful during the grieving process. In this book you can add special photographs, anecdotes, advice to your children, special recipes and other special mementos. You may wish to include birth announcements, wedding invitations, and cards or found items such as leaves, clovers or pressed flowers from your garden. The choices are endless and always yours. This way you can express to your family and friends how you live your dash and what you enjoy in life. Share the scrapbook as you put it together with your children and grandchildren. This way memories become alive.

On Death

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on August 9, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

“On the day when death will knock at thy door

What wilt thou offer him?

I will set before my guest the full vessel of my life.

I will never let him go with empty hands…”

Rabindranath Tagore

Death is feared by many but death is a part of life that we all have to embrace at some point. We do not know when death will come and we do fear that day. Death is not something to be feared if we have lived a full life.

A word from Henri Nouwen

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on September 27, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessnes, that is a friend who cares.”

Grief in itself is a personal journey each of us grieves in our own way, yet each of us longs for that companion on the journey who understands us, listens to what we say without passing judgement. The unique part of all of this is the person has not had to experience a loss themselves they only have to be present when needed the most.

Holy Angels Remembrance Program

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on November 20, 2012 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes The Holy Angels Remembrance program is offered by the Archdiocese of Detroit Catholic Cemeteries. Our Lady of Hope Cemetery in Brownstown Twp., St. Joseph Cemetery in Monroe, Holy Cross Cemetery in Detroit, Mt. Carmel Cemetery in Wyandotte and Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Southfield offers at no charge, to anyone, of any faith, who has cremated remains at home or is considering scattering, the dignified committal of the remains at any of their cemeteries. The committal will occur at the Holy Angels Crypt and then will be permanently interred within the consecrated grounds of the Catholic Cemetery. With the growing number of families that may be choosing cremation and that may be in need of a place to care for cremated remains, this option is offered from these cemeteries as an alternative for families that choose cremation and wish to have a place for the cremated remains to be placed and cared for. There is no cost for this program and it is available to anyone of any faith. A marker is not provided with this no cost option. A cenotaph is available for inscription for a small fee. We are proud of our heritage of serving all families and being able to provide this information to help everyone be able to have a way to place their loved one in a cemetery, if that is their wish, is just one example. This is one way that we can provide help and information that many may not have know is available. Often it is difficult to ask for assistance, we are here to help and you will find that all of our staff is most concerned about offering solutions that best meet your needs and concerns. For additional information visit http://www.cfcsdetroit.org/cemeteries/remembrance-program.php Contributed By: Robin A. Locklear

Expressions of Grief

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on February 10, 2014 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

What is Expressions of Grief?

Expressions of grief is made up of a group of men and women who have suffered the loss of a loved one through death. Participants are able to discuss their thoughts and feelings openly. Everyone is encouraged to discuss their feelings openly if they wish to, but no one is made to talk. At times some feel they would like to listen .

Grieving takes time and to have others who have been in the same situation listen with compassion and offer helpful suggestions makes the journey a bit easier. The group is run by a facilitator who is knowledgeable in grief and loss.

Change

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on February 26, 2014 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines change as

:to become different

:to make (someone or something) different

:to become something else

The death of a loved one causes us to change not only has our personal self changed but the dynamic of our family as well. One who was here is no longer with us. A change has occured and life is now different, we are a shadow of our former selves. Death causes a change many of us don’t want to deal with. At times we may act as everything is status quo. In ourselves we know the pain, sorrow and anguish we feel. Yet do others around us recoginize the feelings we have? Two have now become one (if married) the loss of a child or sibling is just as devastating. Others do recognize the loss, but they have begun to move in a different direction. Its not that they don’t care about you they do they just need to know how to approach you. Some may feel you are too “fragile” or afraid you may begin to cry. It is okay to cry it means you are alive and feeling the emotions you should be feeling. Let people know you are in a time of change a period of adjustment and to be patient with you as you move through each day.

Change we don’t like it but with change comes growth. The realization that someone we loved and cared about is no longer here takes time to accept. We know the person is no longer with us in the physical sense yet we long for the person to be back with us. At times we want them back to be with us, yet we must be careful what we ask for. If our loved one was suffering prior to death or had been in an accident, would we want them back the same way? No, we would want them back happy, healthy and just as vibrant as they were.

Change takes time to embrace a life time. We change every day of our lives and we learn to adapt to life as it is now not as it was. Change can be positive and exciting as we choose to embrace it in a healthy way.

Cremation

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on October 30, 2012 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The wishes of your loved one have been fulfilled and the questions many families have; “What do I do with the cremains?” What is the time frame for picking up cremains?”

The choice is your own for the final disposition of your loved one. The best place is in a cemetery either interred in the ground or in a niche. Many cemeteries have a special place for scattering the cremains, check with the cemetery of your choice if this option is available. The cremains may also be kept at home in an urn until you decide to inter or scatter. The best choice is your own when fulfilling the final wishes of your loved one. The usual time for picking up cremains from the funeral home is within a month after the cremation has ocurred.

Veterans Markers

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on May 29, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Did you know there are a variety of symbols of faith one can put on a Veterans Marker? To view the newly approved symbols of faith as well as many other helpful tips for Veterans and their families go to www.cem.va.gov .

Embracing Grief

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on April 10, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

When a death occurs some are afraid to embrace their grief because they feel as if they have to remain strong for themselves and those around them. It is better to embrace grief than to hold it inside, there is nothing wrong with crying or feeling down. Take time to grieve, there is no actual convenient time to grieve, the pain of the loss will “sneak” up at awkward times. Let what comes come naturally.

I would say to those who mourn…look upon each day that comes as a challenge, as a test of courage. The pain will come in waves, some days worse than others, for no apparent reason. Accept the pain. Do no supress it. Never attempt to hide grief. Daphne du Maurier

Memory Bears

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on March 18, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Memory Bears are made from clothing your loved one wore.

Have you been unable to part with your loved ones clothing? Donna and Kathy understand. We have been where you are. We’ve come up with a way to keep their memory alive with MEMORY BEARS. They can be made from any of your loved ones clothes, or other material items. Each bear will be personalized and our bears are lovingly made and handled with care from our homes in Allen Park. Any type of clothing can be used, sweaters, pajamas, coats, jeans, dresses, blankets, suits, etc. Just bring the clothing with the name you want on the heart, (mom, dad, son, papa, nana,etc.) and Donna and Kathy will take care of the rest.

Martenson Family of Funeral Homes Annual Balloon Launches

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on April 29, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Each year in the Spring the Martenson Family of Funeral Homes has a balloon launch. The launch is a way of memorializing your loved one with others who have lost a loved one to death. This year the balloon launches will be at the following chapels. It is our sincere hope the balloon launch aids you, your family and friends in the healing process.

June 3, 2013

Allen Park 10915 Allen Road 313-386-6600

June 4, 2013

Trenton 3200 West Road 734-671-5400

June 5, 2013

Allore Chapel 203 East Elm Ave. 734-241-5225

The Allore Chapel will be having a Remembrance Garden Planting. Participants are encouraged to wear “gardening clothing.”

To RSVP please call the number associated with the chapel above with the number of persons who will be attending.

Things I didn’t like to hear after a loss

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on February 6, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The following are actual statements made by people to a bereaved person.

“At least he didn’t suffer.”

“They lived a full life.”

“How are you doing?”

“He/she looks so good.”

Cause of death assuming drug related.

After six months..”Aren’t you better yet?”

“Using the word dead, died passing.

“Haven’t you gone back to work yet?” Isn’t it about time for you to go back to work?”

“Your so strong.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you dating?”

On and on about their own family not my concerns.

To a grieving person these words can be painful especailly to a widow/er or a person who has just lost a child to death. Many people felt a condescending tone in the voices of some people.

The best thing to do many times is just to be present to the family, there are times when no words at all are best and a person just sits and listens to the grieving person.

The positive aspects that many a grieving person thought to be helpful were these.

Taking care of food that was sent to the funeral home and assisting the family. Many families appreciate the food that is sent to them.

Taking a meal to the home of the newly bereaved or sharing a meal with them.

Saying I am sorry for your loss.

Sending thinking of you card(s) with a note or a few words of comfort on the inside.

There are many times when we don’t know what to say after a loss, sometimes no words at all are necessary and your presence makes all the difference in the world.

Steps to Survival

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on January 7, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

* Recognize the loss: For a while you are numb. It has happened try not to avoid it.

* Be with the pain: You’re hurting. Admit it. To feel pain after loss is normal, proof that you are alive, proof that your able to respond.

*You are not alone: Loss is a part of life-EVERYONE experiences it.

* You’re a Beautiful, Worthwhile Person: You are much more than the emotional wound you are presently feeling.

* You will survive: Believe that you WILL HEAL.

* Give yourself Time to Heal: The greater the loss-the more it will take.

* Healing has Progressions and Regressions: Healing and growth are not a smooth upward progression, but full of ups and downs dramatic leaps and depressing backslides.

*Tomorrow will Come: Your life has been full of positive experience-THEY WILL RETURN.

* Take Good Care of YOU: Get plenty of rest. Stick to a schedule. Plan your days. Activity will give you a sense of order.

Keep decision-making to a Minimum: Expect your judgement to be clouded for a while. You are going through change, don’t add additional ones.

Sr. Elaine Hartnett and John Raniszewski, Editors, Hospices of Henry Ford: Bereavement Newsletter; For people living with grief.

Loss of a pet

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on February 1, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The loss of a pet for some can be as heartbreaking as the loss of a family member. To many a pet becomes a part of the family and the feelings of grief and loss are the same as they are for a person. It is perfectly normal to feel sad after a beloved pet dies. As with the loss of a family member or pet the feelings will begin to subside in time.

Spirituality of Presence

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on February 16, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

What exactly is Spirituality of Presence? It is being present in that moment of time when a friend or family member needs you the most. That time when words will not come forth yet just by being present comfort has been offered and expressed. It is that time when no words are needed when one just sits quietly and listens.

Henri Nouwen expresess it best in the following words.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.”

Creative Journaling

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on January 21, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

There are times when you are grieving and you may not feel comfortable with sharing in a group or talking one on one may not be enough for you. One way is to journal your personal thoughts after the death of a loved one.

The entries don’t have to be long or detailed, they can be what ever emotions you are feeling on that particular day or you may choose to “scribble” a few words or doodle on the pages. Remember there is no right or wrong way only your way!

A good start can be some of the following to aid you in the start of your endeavor.

Today I feel like….

The day my spouse, friend or child died I felt like….

You may want to reflect on a favorite quote or Bible verse, many find comfort in the 23rd Psalm.

Whatever you choose to write about let your emotions flow, whether they be positive, negative, or indifferent. There may be days you don’t feel like making an entry and that is okay too there will be days like this. In a time frame of your choosing take a look at the entries you have made to see your progression through your grief.

When Tragedy Occurs

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on December 15, 2012 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Adults and children alike often have questions when a tragedy occurs. The recent tragedy in Connecticut is one of those when many questions arise and parents often question how to explain death to their children. At the Martenson Family of Funeral Homes we have a DVD available to families at no charge to help. When Families Grieve is a Sesame Street DVD that explains death to children and their families. Please call 734-671-5400 if you would like a copy of this informative DVD and we will send one to you at no cost.

On Sunday December 16, 2012 there will be a Memorial Dove Release for the families affected by the recent tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School at the Allore Chapel-Martenson Family of Funeral Homes. The service will begin at 3:00 in the afternoon. Please call 734-241-5225 for further information.

The Journey of Grief

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on December 27, 2012 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

When you are grieving, often you are grieving more than the loss of a loved one. In the process of grieving you may feel many different emotions and the past relives itself. You are often not just grieving the loss of a spouse, parent, child or sibling. You may be grieving the past loss of a grandparent, aunt, uncle, friend or the loss of a pet, or other losses such as divorce, the break up of a friendship, loss of a job; something as simple as the last child leaving home. When these things happen you are often unsure of where to turn. Grieving is more than death, it has many different aspects.

It seems as if your family and friends don’t understand exactly how you are feeling.

At the Martenson Family of Funeral Homes a Grief Specialist is on staff to assist you through the grieving process. He can be reached at 734-671-5400 or fredcislo@martenson.com .

Prayer for the New Year

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on December 18, 2012 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Give us the kindness

to hear with compassion,

to offer support,

loving comfort and care.

Give us the courage

to do what is needed,

the wisdom to choose

what is right and fair.

Give us the vision

to see what is possible.

Give us the faith that

will help pave the way

for a present that’s

hopeful, a future

that’s peaceful-

give us the heart

to bring joy to

each day.

Flower Bouquets

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

During the month of May with your Balloon Launch invitation you will be able to receive a bouquet of flowers at A Touch of Glass Florist (3254 West Road, Trenton, MI) for $5.00. The bouquets are made up fresh each morning.

To receive a bouquet of flowers you must present your invitation at the florist.

I know how you feel

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on March 22, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

After the loss of a loved one a grieving person will hear from others; “I know how you feel.” In reality none of us really know how a person feels after a death has occurred. We can only understand those feelings, because we may have had similar thoughts, but we don’t know exactly how someone feels.

When speaking with a person who has suffered the loss of a loved one it is best to stay away from cliches, like the following.

“I know how you feel.”

“I have walked in your shoes.”

“When my pet died, I felt….”

At times the best thing to say is, “My condolences to you and your family.”

Saint Augustine of Hippo says it best in the following quote, he gives us a portion of what it feels like to expereience the death of someone close.

“My heart was black with grief…My native place was a prison-house and my home a strange unhappiness…I had no delight but in tears, for tears had taken the place my friend had in the love of my heart.”

Saint Augustine

When speaking with a bereaved person be sensitive to their needs. Remember if you are going to offer to take them out for coffee or a meal, make sure you will do so. The bereaved person will have moments of sadness, loneliness, pain and sorrow and their world not making much sense to them. Give the bereaved time to adjust to their new sense of being.

Death, Divorce and Taxes

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

There are two things in life that are certain death and taxes, but this has nothing to do with taxes. You the reader may be asking yourself then what is the point behind this blog.

It is about death and divorce, the fact is we as human beings grieve the death of a loved one as well as we grieve after a divorce. When a person has suffered the loss of a loved on due to death they are struggling with a lot of different feelings. A death should not be compared to a divorce, and some will say to a bereaved person, “Death is a lot like a divorce.” Actually a death is nothing like a divorce using this as an analogy can be painful to the person hearing the words. Why? The answer is when a person dies they have left the physical world while the person who has divorced a person is still present in the physical world.

When a person is grieving a loss due to death they are missing the physical presence of their loved one, they long to hear their voice or feel the touch of their hand.

Moving towards acceptance

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Accepting the fact a death has occurred can be one of the most difficult parts of the grieving process. Our eyes have seen that a person we cared about has died, our ears have heard of the death, our heart has broken yet our mind does not accept it. It is perfectly normal to have these feelings following the death of a family member, friend or even a pet.

One should never push themselves to acceptance or let any other person tell them when to become comfortable with a loss. Acceptance is a gradual process and it takes time as well as love to come to a place one feels comfortable.

Piece by piece, I reenter the world. Birds console me by flying, trees by growing, dogs by the warm patch they leave on the sofa…

It’s like a slow recovery of one’s self…My mother was at peace. She was a free woman. “Let me go,” she said. Okay, Mama, I’m letting you go.

Toby Talbot

Christmas 2012

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Posted on October 18, 2012 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

Our own Robin Locklear has been part of the choir for several years, sharing her gift of song. Several staff members have been to the concert and expressed how much they enjoyed it! St. Paul Concert Choir and Orchestra

December 15 – 2:30 pm and 7:00 pm

December 16 – 3:00 pm

Trenton High School Auditorium

Tickets available beginning November 10.

www.splconline.com