Grief and mourning are not the same thing. Perhaps you have noticed that people tend to use the words “grieving” and “mourning” interchangeably. There is an important distinction, however. It is alsothe case if someone you love has committed suicide.
We as humans move toward integrating loss into our lives not just by grieving, but by mourning. You will move toward reconciliation not just by grieving, but through active and intentional mourning.
Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone we love dies. Think of grief as a box. It holds your thoughts, feelings, and images of your experience when you are bereaved. In other words, grief is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss.
Mourning is when you take the grief you have on the inside and express it outside of yourself. Another way of defining mourning is “grief gone public” or “the outward expression of grief.”
Talking about the person who died, crying, expressing your thoughts and feelings through art or music, and celebrating special anniversary dates that held meaning for the person who died are just a few examples of mourning.
Warning: After someone you love has completed suicide, your friends may encourage you to keep your grief to yourself. If you were to take this message to heart, the disastrous result would be that all of your thoughts and feelings would stay neatly bottled up inside you.
A catalyst for healing, however, can only be created when you develop the courage to mourn publicly, in the presence of understanding, compassionate people who will not judge you. At times, of course, you will grieve alone, but expressing your grief outside of yourself is necessary if you are to slowly and gently move forward in your grief journey. At Martenson Family of Funeral Homes We pledge to be a professional resource for the benefit of the entire community and accept this unique responsibility to honor the dignity of life, to aid the family in time of grief and to encourage remembrance with each family within its own traditions, culture and financial means.
Toll Free Suicide Loss Helpline: 1-800-646-7322 There are many resources that provide coping strategies with death by suicide. Some include returning to work, communicating with children, and guidelines for schools.
The Alliance of Hope is for suicide loss survivors. This organization reminds people that they are not alone in their loss. Their website includes an online forum where survivors can connect, resources for those who just lost someone to suicide, and a blog with helpful information about suicide loss
The Friends for Survival organization is unique because all of its staff and volunteers have been directly impacted by suicide. They have several publications, a monthly newsletter, and a suicide loss helpline — all resources to help your families.
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