Think Before You Speak

When attending a funeral or a visitation think before you speak. Why you may wonder or even ask why this is important. Think of how you felt when you learned of the death of someone you cared so deeply about. Your mind went through many things at the moment of learning of the death. Why? Why now and not later? It can’t be true! My heart hurts. I can’t live without him or her. What do I do now?

It is an act of kindness to express your sympathies after a person dies, but what do you say? Common things are, I am sorry for your loss, Please accept my condolences, or sometimes just being present and listening, truly listening is more valuable than any spoken word can be. One has to understand a person has just suffered a loss, that at times may be devastating to the person or family and friends. It does not matter how long the person may have lived, it may have been ninety years, forty, thirty or even ten or a matter of moments. Under any circumstances do not diminish the value of a life. The person mattered to those who are grieving. Consider this a woman has carried a child for nine months and the child is still born or days after birth the child dies. Both parents feel the anguish of the loss as well as the family. A young woman’s life is taken by murder, those who loved and cared about her feel the loss. A wife suffers the loss of her husband to a heart attack after more than fifty years of marriage. A child riding his bike is struck by a car and dies.

What do all of these have in common other than the fact that they have died? Each of them along with their family and friends had hopes, dreams, memories and a plan for the future. Be sensitive to the needs of those grieving and think about what you may say to those suffering a loss.