Posted on February 26, 2014 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines change as

:to become different

:to make (someone or something) different

:to become something else

The death of a loved one causes us to change not only has our personal self changed but the dynamic of our family as well. One who was here is no longer with us. A change has occured and life is now different, we are a shadow of our former selves. Death causes a change many of us don’t want to deal with. At times we may act as everything is status quo. In ourselves we know the pain, sorrow and anguish we feel. Yet do others around us recoginize the feelings we have? Two have now become one (if married) the loss of a child or sibling is just as devastating. Others do recognize the loss, but they have begun to move in a different direction. Its not that they don’t care about you they do they just need to know how to approach you. Some may feel you are too “fragile” or afraid you may begin to cry. It is okay to cry it means you are alive and feeling the emotions you should be feeling. Let people know you are in a time of change a period of adjustment and to be patient with you as you move through each day.

Change we don’t like it but with change comes growth. The realization that someone we loved and cared about is no longer here takes time to accept. We know the person is no longer with us in the physical sense yet we long for the person to be back with us. At times we want them back to be with us, yet we must be careful what we ask for. If our loved one was suffering prior to death or had been in an accident, would we want them back the same way? No, we would want them back happy, healthy and just as vibrant as they were.

Change takes time to embrace a life time. We change every day of our lives and we learn to adapt to life as it is now not as it was. Change can be positive and exciting as we choose to embrace it in a healthy way.

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