I know how you feel
Posted on March 22, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes
After the loss of a loved one a grieving person will hear from others; “I know how you feel.” In reality none of us really know how a person feels after a death has occurred. We can only understand those feelings, because we may have had similar thoughts, but we don’t know exactly how someone feels.
When speaking with a person who has suffered the loss of a loved one it is best to stay away from cliches, like the following.
“I know how you feel.”
“I have walked in your shoes.”
“When my pet died, I felt….”
At times the best thing to say is, “My condolences to you and your family.”
Saint Augustine of Hippo says it best in the following quote, he gives us a portion of what it feels like to expereience the death of someone close.
“My heart was black with grief…My native place was a prison-house and my home a strange unhappiness…I had no delight but in tears, for tears had taken the place my friend had in the love of my heart.”
Saint Augustine
When speaking with a bereaved person be sensitive to their needs. Remember if you are going to offer to take them out for coffee or a meal, make sure you will do so. The bereaved person will have moments of sadness, loneliness, pain and sorrow and their world not making much sense to them. Give the bereaved time to adjust to their new sense of being.
