Things I didn’t like to hear after a loss

Posted on February 6, 2013 by Martenson Family of Funeral Homes

The following are actual statements made by people to a bereaved person.

“At least he didn’t suffer.”

“They lived a full life.”

“How are you doing?”

“He/she looks so good.”

Cause of death assuming drug related.

After six months..”Aren’t you better yet?”

“Using the word dead, died passing.

“Haven’t you gone back to work yet?” Isn’t it about time for you to go back to work?”

“Your so strong.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you dating?”

On and on about their own family not my concerns.

To a grieving person these words can be painful especailly to a widow/er or a person who has just lost a child to death. Many people felt a condescending tone in the voices of some people.

The best thing to do many times is just to be present to the family, there are times when no words at all are best and a person just sits and listens to the grieving person.

The positive aspects that many a grieving person thought to be helpful were these.

Taking care of food that was sent to the funeral home and assisting the family. Many families appreciate the food that is sent to them.

Taking a meal to the home of the newly bereaved or sharing a meal with them.

Saying I am sorry for your loss.

Sending thinking of you card(s) with a note or a few words of comfort on the inside.

There are many times when we don’t know what to say after a loss, sometimes no words at all are necessary and your presence makes all the difference in the world.

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